Hiatus
Wu-Massacre Artwork and Tracklist
Video Games Take on Tits
Women make the world go round. They are the mothers
to our daughters who then become mothers to their daughters who then, well, you
get the picture. The female gender completes us and we owe a huge debt of
gratitude to all the women of the world. Where would we be without Mary, or the
Virgin Queen for that matter? And even more, where would we be without breasts?
It’s not a secret that people love breasts. They nourish our hunger as infants
and nourish our sexual appetite as adults. Breasts, and their size, wield power
in unimaginable levels. Shit they even have doctors who specialize in making
them the perfect size and shape. The world loves T&A, and with that said,
what would the entertainment industry be without it? Well, for one an entire
industry would be wiped out never to grace our hard discs again, leaving them
flaccid and unused. Yes, I’m talking about porn – the billion dollar industry
you pray your girlfriend doesn’t know you know about. The margin of hardcore
porn and entertainment becomes further blurred with the slew of rap videos that
thrive on it to sell the artist’s ridiculously ostentatious distortions of
reality (because god knows their creatively stunted lyrics ain’t painting the
picture). While summer blockbusters feature the babe of the month in tight
situations (among other things) and reel in millions of dollars worth of horny
teens and adults alike trying to catch a glimpse of the almighty magical
breast. Ah, the breast. Advancements in technology have allowed video game
artists to shape the subtle nuances of “the bounce” into an art form that was
previously only heralded by god himself. What started in pixel format has now
blossomed into the buxom bosom of an 18 year old co-ed. So, the conundrum I
pose is: who has the best breasts in the digital world?
The Dead or Alive franchise immediately jiggles to mind, but for the sake of fairness I’ll limit the DOA franchise to one entry – Kasumi. Kasumi has it all; flowing red hair, ninja skills, and most impressively the ability to kick your ass in a revealing robe without those double D’s wandering out. Kasumi’s breasts even inspired a game dedicated to the physics of the boobie – DOA Beach Volleyball.
I can’t mention breasts in video games and forget the pair that popularized the art form, yes; I’m talking about Lara Croft. When she first hit the scene on the Playstation and Saturn, her 300 polygon rendered form showcased breasts akin more to cones. However, technology advanced and with it so did Ms. Croft’s lofty expectations. In time Lara’s breasts became so infamous that they eventually made it to the big screen via Angelina Jolie. They may not jiggle like Kasumi’s helium filled fun bags, but the way they stretch her size 0 shirt out will have gawking gamers glued to their plasmas for nights on end.
And last but definitely not least, we have Ivy of Soul Calibur fame. Ivy’s bust first busted onto the scene with the Dreamcast sequel to Soul Blade, making them the very first 128 bit tits and subsequently the realest any gamer had ever saw up until then. Furthering her appeal was her dominatrix-like garb and whip for a weapon. How badass is that?
I’ll let the reader decide for themselves which character on my list, or not on my list, they prefer.
Honorable mentions:
Diddy - O Lets Do it remix [VIDEO]
You've Seen Avatar in 3D, but what about 4D??
Nicki Minaj Talks Jay- Z
Sonic The Hedgehog 4 Teaser Video
Lil Wayne Rebirth Commercial
R.I.P. Point Game
Hottie of the Week: Laura Dore
New After Burner Climax Screens
